How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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