just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This is my gift to your gina
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
