Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
