3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
