the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
