just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
