It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
