using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
