Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry tyrtfdggddfhhf hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(847): View more from Illinois

john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.

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(256): View more from Alabama

we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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(432): View more from Texas

Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"

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(904): View more from Florida

naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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(705): View more from Ontario

You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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(813): View more from Florida

It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.

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