What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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