He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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