Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
