I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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