Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I love having hate sex.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
