no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
