We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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