Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
