I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
