Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
