We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
