Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
