i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize