I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
