Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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