My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
