Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
