do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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