I wish I only lived at night.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
