Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
