Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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