even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
