just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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