I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
