My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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