Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
