It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
