Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
