My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize