i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
