Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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