i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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