It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
