I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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