Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
