I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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