She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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