Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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