I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
