Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize