I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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