Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
