i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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