let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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