went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
