so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just invented taco cereal.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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