I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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