dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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