ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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