It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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