some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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