white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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