Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
