No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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