Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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