??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
