did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sponge bath it is.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
